Many people create goals at the start of the year. Some accomplish their goal, but most people get discouraged and give up very soon after starting. I fall into that category. I used to set goals each New Year Day. But if I missed a day, didn't do my best, or didn't believe I could accomplish it I would soon give up. Goal-setting has never been something I'm good at. But after reading the article about "Eddie the Eagle" in this month's New Era magazine I have decided to try it again.
Thinking about past goals I've set I know why I fail so quickly. I am not setting goals properly. Here is a list of ways to achieve your goals:
1) Set realistic goals. All the goals I have set are unrealistic. Two I have set in the past were: 1) climb Mt. Everest and, 2) visit every temple in the world. These goals are attainable, but they are not for me anymore. I do not have the time, or diligence, to train to climb Mt. Everest. I have big responsibilities now of being a wife and mother and I would rather invest that time and energy into my family. However, I can set similar realistic goals. I can set a goal to do 5 hikes of different lengths and difficulties during the summer. Or I can climb a different mountain and reach it's peak, like I did a few years ago when I hiked up to Ben Lomand's peak in Utah. Though the mountain dwarfs in comparison (9,712 feet compared to Mt. Everest's 29,029 feet) is was still a huge accomplishment for me and an experience I will never forget.
I know I won't be able to visit every temple in the world because I don't have that kind of money to travel and they are being built quickly. But I can still have a goal to visit as many temples as I can. I have done work in 16 temples and visited/seen another 7. I still plan to go to many more temples and am anxiously awaiting the Paris, France temple to be built.
Billings, Montana
Idaho Falls, Idaho
Salt Lake City, Utah
2) Be flexible. Life happens. Tragedies occur that prevent us from reaching our goals. Circumstances change and we find that we can't achieve them anymore. In the past I would just give up on my goals. My view was that whatever I had written down as being my goal was concrete and could not be altered. But now I am realizing that I may have missed out on some things that would have been great had I stuck to my goals. Goals are not set in stone. They are just an ideal we are trying to reach. If something happens, don't give up on your goal! Examine your goal and what you want to achieve, think of changes that will need to happen to achieve that goal or the altered goal, and go toward it. Don't throw in the towel because you missed a day or didn't lose that extra pound. Keep going.
3) Write down your goals. I never realized how important of a step that was until I did it myself. I would just envision what my goal was, and guess what? I would forget it. When you write down your goals you see them. They are no longer a thought drifting around in your head. They are now in concrete written form. There are different ways to do it - write it in your day planner, set a daily alarm on your phone, put it on a sticky note, use a chart, or write it on a list. Choose one or all of them, whatever will help you see and remember your goal. I'm an avid list maker, and I love visual aids, so I use a chart and list to track my goals. Here are my morning goals that I have taped to our bathroom mirror.
4) Breakdown your goals. While I was in school, long essay assignments scared me and I didn't know how to write a 9 page paper. I would wait until the last minute, throw something together, and not get the grade I wanted. Had I broken down the assignment to make an outline, choose a thesis, and find supporting evidence, I would have done much better. The task would not have been as daunting. We need to do that with our big goals as well. Here is what I am using in order to breakdown my goals. I also have one for scripture study, going to bed by 11pm, waking up at 7am, and FHE.
5) Share your goals with others. Letting someone know your goal is another important step. So often in my own life I will tell myself I will do something - use Facebook less, eat more fruits and veggies, floss daily, etc. - but never do it. I'm human and I have weaknesses. It's hard to change lifelong habits even if the changes are better for you. Telling someone your goal will help you stay accountable to it. I am fortunate to have a wonderful husband that is good at reminding me of my goals when I forget or am starting to slip and lose willpower. Though I do not always like it, once he reminds me it is harder for me to ignore my goal because then my hubby knows and I hate looking weak.
6) Don't compare yourself with others. As any other woman, I find that I do this a lot. It never gets me anywhere except for feeling depressed and insufficient. When setting goals for yourself remember that they are for you. Who cares if your neighbor is working toward a marathon and you are working toward walking around the block daily? Nobody but yourself. People have their own worries to worry about and they won't bother thinking about yours when they don't have to. I really liked this quote from President Uchtdorf in the article:
We spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others - usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does.
This leads me to my last way to achieve goals.
7) Be happy with your accomplishments. If you didn't do your goal perfectly for 7 days, be happy with the 4 days you did do it. That's 4 more days you worked on your goal than you did the week before! I used to feel like a failure if I didn't do my goal perfectly. I'm a perfectionist. Now I realize that life happens and I'm not perfect. So I am happy with what I do accomplish. Working toward your goal is much better than not working toward it.
Good luck on your goals!
