Love thy Neighbor

While reading the first 5 verses of Alma 32 I asked myself these questions: Do I cast out the poor? Do I judge those that look and act differently than me? Do I despise those that are at a different level than me? I answered my questions with the cold hard truth - yes.

I can come up with many excuses as to why I feel this way. Society, norms, genetics, my surroundings, news stories, rumors, wive's tales, jealousy...the list goes on and on. We are taught that the poor on the street 'deserve it' or 'must have done something awful to end up there'. We are taught that race, gender, age, sexual preferences, religion, and political views define a person as a person instead of just viewing them as an equal human being. We are taught to envy those that have more than us, but to always strive to have more and be more.

I am not proud to admit that I struggle to treat everyone kindly and with respect. I frustrate myself when I look at someone and judge them instantly without even knowing them, or trying to get to know them. I hate the thoughts I have that seem uncontrollable at times.

I want to change how I view others. I want to look at someone and think 'Wow, that's a very unique hairstyle. They must have an awesome personality!' or 'They are struggling. I wonder what hard trials they've had to face' or 'They are very successful. I could learn a lot from them'.

I thought of 3 ways to help me start seeing others differently. Here they are:

1) I need to have a perfect love for others, just as God has for us. I need to understand that we are ALL God's children. He loves each of us dearly. Just as we would not fault a child for tripping on accident and getting hurt, so would He not fault us for making a small mistake. He does not judge us wrongly because He knows us individually. He knows why the person cut someone off on the highway - to get to the hospital in time to say goodbye to a loved one. He knows why our boss yelled at us - because he's stressing over his wayward teenager. He knows why someone is quiet and reserved - because they are contemplating suicide. These are all made up scenarios, but we never know what someone is going through. We should all try to be more lenient and understanding of others.
I remember going to the temple once and praying to love others more. When I left, and for days to follow (if not weeks), I looked at everyone and loved them. I was more kind. I was more forgiving. I was less judgmental. I was more helpful. Imagine what this world could become if we strived to look at others through a different lens.

2) I need to view my own weaknesses and learn from them. I am not perfect and there is much about myself that is 'poor'. I'm poor in patience. I'm poor in getting somewhere on time; I can't even think about getting somewhere early. I'm poor in being happy with what I have. At times I'm poor in Spirit. Why do I feel it is okay to judge someone else when I know nothing of them? It reminds me of this Mormon Message:

Just as this woman learned, we all have weaknesses and areas in our life that need fixing. Others have them too.

3)  I need to serve others lovingly. I don't know about you, but it's easy for me to want to assist a cause and donate to faceless people. It's an easy way out but I can still feel good for helping. But what about the faces around me? What of the homeless man I pass on the street? Or the mother struggling to keep her kids calm at the store? Or the friend that needs the listening ear and the shoulder to cry on? These people need my aid. Don't get me wrong, the causes I assist and donate to need a lending hand as well. But the people I interact with in my day-to-day life need me just as much, and I'm here for them. Causes will not always find those in need. But I can. I can talk to the homeless man. I can distract the kids by playing peek-a-boo with them and making silly faces. I can offer a hug and a box of Puffs to my friend.

I know this list is small. There are so many things I can do to turn myself around. But this is a good start. Nothing in life can be accomplished until we take the first step. I know this is going to be a long process but I'm making a commitment to myself to change the way I view others. 

I hope that this confession of mine will inspire some of you to change as well. If you struggle with this, I hope you will join me in changing your views. We can do it! If you don't struggle with this, congratulations! You're a step farther than me. But I hope you will think of a personal weakness you have and make a goal to fix it. I also hope you will all be understanding of me just as I am trying to be understanding of others.